The Identity Crisis of the “Pick Me” Brand

Branding is becoming lazy. 

Consumers see it everywhere, every day — a copy and paste of the formula that’s been deemed worthy of a successful brand, a “cool” brand. Visual design styles such as "clean girl minimalism" and "dopamine maximalism", and even plain "ugly" often become trends, leading creative choices across media platforms, and ad campaigns. But in more recent years, we have seen a growing emphasis on voice and tone. Brands are becoming more recognizable for their witty clap-backs in the comment section, their "carefree" approach to marketing, and unique ideas that go against the herd. But the more brands fight to be different, the more they sound the same. Welcome to the rise of the “Pick Me” brand.

What is the “Pick Me” Brand? 

If you’re familiar with millennial and Gen Z pop-culture, you’ve likely heard of the term “pick me” or “pick me girl”, as it’s often used when referring to girls and women. The definition is someone who excessively seeks validation from others (typically men) by presenting themselves as "not like other girls" — better in some way such as watching football or not wearing makeup. While the bid for attention is widely recognized in conversations about dating, friendship, and human behavior —  it’s rarely discussed in branding, even though it’s everywhere. A notable example is the modern day joke or meme of the millennial burger joint. You know, the one owned by a guy with a handlebar mustache serving overpriced gourmet smash burgers that says things like, ‘we do things a little differently around here’. The message is the same — “we’re different and better than  our likeness”. 

The application of “our brand isn’t like other brands” may change in language, but is still very present. While it doesn’t carry the same patriarchal consequences as when the label is applied to people, it is plain lazy and gives very little information to the audience. 

So Why Do So Many Brands Do It? 

Many brands look at this behavior as anti-marketing; a strategy that uses unconventional, minimalist, and sometimes even negative or self-deprecating tactics to build trust with transparency and spark curiosity. One of the most recognizable examples of anti-marketing done well is the beverage company, Liquid Death. When most water and beverage brands curated an image of health, wellness, and purity, Liquid Death put gothic script and skulls on their products. Their tagline reads “Murder Your Thirst”. People love it because it’s funny and it stands out drastically amongst competitors. Now that single example of anti-marketing is used time and time again by brands across various industries as a gold standard for how to stand out and feel unique to consumers. The problem? Creating original humor and standing out from the competition isn’t that easy. So the message has been dumbed down to simply say, “we’re different”. 

Signs of a "Pick Me" Brand

Brands across all industries are desperately screaming into the void, “we’re different!”Sometimes, like that millennial burger joint, they flat out say it. Other times, negating is used in copy across social media, campaigns, branding and other marketing tools to express their uniqueness in a way that feels less try-hard. Because not caring seems way cooler or “more authentic”. 

“We’re not like other coffee shops.”

“We’re not your mother’s hair salon.” 

“We don’t follow the trends, we follow the ingredients.” 

We often see vague copy that’s meant to sound edgy but often just leaves people wondering, “what does that even mean?” Sure, an occasional negative word in a memorable punchline has a time and place. But a tactic that once worked to spark curiosity is now the default and has lost power with overuse. Instead of creating intrigue, it now feels like that sad, desperate moment when Meredith Grey stands in front of McDreamy and says the infamous line, “Pick me, choose me, love me.” with a painfully obvious bid for attention. And to add salt to the wound, the audience still doesn’t know you. Focusing on what you're not, tells people basically nothing about what you are. 

What to Do Instead?

Brands who truly stand out are those that show up with consistent, intentional messaging; messaging that demonstrates their ethics and values, quality standards, sense of humor, and how they improve customers’ lives. When hitting all these marks, it’s not necessary to lead by comparison because they’re leading by example. 

Some brands of note who lead by example and not comparison: 

1. Thrive Market: their value is in the name. When consumers think of an easy, healthy grocery delivery service, they think of Thrive Market. Their website description reads “Organic? Non-GMO? Vegan, paleo, keto? Gluten-free? You name it, Thrive Market caters to it.” and a quick glance at any of their digital pages shows you that they're transparent about their quality standards, company values, and how they improve life through time and cost savings.

2. Rare Beauty: While much of their copy and products feel similar to other cosmetic brands, they set themselves apart with their creative content and product packaging, putting their customers at the forefront of the brand. They frequently highlight real customers in content, emphasize mental health wellness in their products, created the Rare Impact Fund, and products are designed with accessibility and dexterity in mind. Rare Beauty clearly communicates and promotes their brand values, quality standards, and  improves quality of life through the power of confidence and inclusion. 

3. Orangetheory: The fitness brand crafted an entire name, visual brand identity and exercise program around the color orange making it so much more than a simple brand color palette choice. Orangetheory sets itself apart from other fitness studios because they built trust, both with a proven formula for success and the branding. Instead of comparing themselves to other boutique fitness studios, they created a whole new culture out of it and a new way to measure quality standards of a workout. 

The key takeaway for brands is simple: lead by example, not by comparison. Chasing competitors or trying to outshine others comes across as desperate, tacky, and tired. Brands that focus on their own values, actions, and unique strengths inspire trust, loyalty, and lasting impact — proving that authenticity always outperforms imitation.